A clear blue sky darkens with the sunset. The dark black boulder of the cliff head dominates the landscape. In the distances the sunsets behind the hills. My rope dangles into the horizon. I am hanging for dear life by my fingertips and a long skinny rope. It will be dark soon and I'm not sure I'm going to survive the night.
I came to the thought of rock climbing in the desert only a week ago. I thought it would be fun and dangerous, if there is anything that gets the blood pumping it's the feeling of doing something dangerous. My mates offered to come but, knowing that I could easily do this myself, I decided to turn them down. Now I'm stranded, hanging off the side of a cliff and fearing for my life.
As I see the sun going down, I begin to worry. The colour in the sky begins to fade out and the darkness of night creeps in. I can no longer see in front of me, I can't even see my fingers against the rock. Closing my eyes, as it's not like I can see anything anyway, I feel something wet brush against my arm. I freeze, knowing that I can not let go of the rock or flinch. Thoughts race through my head and I begin to think that what is touching me is a snake. I hate snakes. I start to breathe very heavily, it makes me feel lightheaded and dizzy. I can't see so it makes the feeling all the worse. Forcing myself to go down the cliff, slowly but surely I feel around for the hold and hope that it doesn't collapse. I begin to realize that what brushed against my arm earlier was probably a branch covered in the evening dew. Thank god it wasn't a snake.
Minutes feel like they have turned into hours, I have lost all perception of time. Last I checked, when the sun was still out it, it was around 730 but I can't be sure because I don't have my watch. Bad time to forget it I guess. It's getting harder to climb as my muscles began to ache and quake and sweat drips down my brow, I don't know if I can carry on much longer. As I open my eyes to glare down the cliff I realise I still can't see the ground below. Fear twists and turns my stomach and I begin to panic, I am starting to question my decisions. Why did I decide to do this? Why didn't I bring my mates? I am feeling like a total idiot. There were only a couple hundred metres to go when I could last see but now it feels like I have been doing the same thing over and over and making no progress. I feel like I will be doing this forever and there is no chance for escape.
My arms and legs are on fire but without the sun, my chest and back are freezing. My fingertips and toes have gone numb which is making climbing sketchy, it's hard to climb when you can't touch. I have to press hard until I am sure I have a grip before moving again. Misery creeps in, it feels like I am never going to succeed at anything no matter how hard I try. Why should I bother? My arms start to shake and my fingers seem to slip on every hold. My legs are shaking so much that they can't keep a grip. If I am going to fall any way I might as well do it on my volution. At least that way I will see it coming and I'll have some control. I wonder if anyone will ever remember me, did I ever do anything important enough to be remembered? Did anyone even like me? All valuable questions but they just add to the feelings of depression. Speaking aloud to no one I say my goodbyes to everyone as I prepare for what I know is coming next. I slowly let go of every hold, finger by finger, foot by foot until I feel myself falling.
My back hits the ground with a nasty thud but I'm not dead? I'm still breathing, I can still move... I think I'm still alive. It would seem that I was only about three feet from the ground, if I'd just kept going none of this would've happened. I can't help feeling stupid and embarrassed because I yelled my goodbyes and cried my eyes out for nothing. At least no one heard right?
"Is that you Johnny?"
A voice calls as I see a glaring light in the distance. It burns my eyes as I realise my mates must have gotten worried and come to find me.
"You okay man? I thought I heard crying and you saying your goodbyes? It's not like you Johnny..."
As they pull me up they give me a jacket to hide from the freezing cold and we start heading back towards the cars. Relieved and embarrassed I decide never to go climbing alone or unprepared again. I got lucky this time.
